All again.

Cheater!Terezi Pyrope x Human!Reader

Warnings: Sadstuck ??, implication of sexual activity, kinda angsty to be honest

~

Oh no, here we are,
Can’t believe the timing, yesterday you’re smiling.
I guess we both played our parts...

Oh, she had done it.

After a meaningful, two-year long relationship with Terezi Pyrope, I was heartbroken to find out the troll girl had cheated. The conversation was still fresh in my mind, and seemed to get more and more vivid every time I played it out in my head.

Nonchalantly turning the key and entering her hous hive, I couldn't help but take notice of the loud moans coming from down the hall where my girlfr matesprit's bedroo respite block was. I would've smirked slightly and seen it as a chance to invite myself into her room if it weren't for the deeper, second voice threaded through her own.

...Very entertaining, but it’s such a shame
That we lost our way from the nights we danced,
The bands were playing...

I could almost describe the feeling I felt right then as my life flashing before my eyes, only it being the relationship with the troll I held so close to my heart instead of my life. All the memories washed over me as I shuffled down the hall to the door with nausea in my stomach and anxiety in my veins. When I opened the door with a trembling hand, I saw exactly what I expected to see, and fell to my knees on the spot.

With a faint sniff of the air, her blind eyes widened.

"(Y/N), I can explain!"

...I say I’m over you, but I’m not sure that it’s true...

Long since I'd flown into a fit of burning rage and broken it off with her that day, I spent a long while trying desperately to get over her.

...I am falling, and I’m too weak to fly.
Now my heart’s wide open,
And you’re the reason why...

As much as I wanted to be over and done with Terezi, I couldn't be. I was too weak to get over her. I felt vulnerable.

I could remember how she pulled away from his body to cover up, him doing the same, but I had already seen what I needed to see. Still on my knees on the ground, tears poured down my face almost instantly. I was afraid I would choke if I tried to speak.

"Then explain."

...I’ve been broken from the scars that I forgave,
Spent a long time running from the mess we’ve made...

I wanted to hate her for it.

I spent so long trying to do anything but reminisce. Happy memories turned toxic, and no matter how much I tried to abandon the sweet thoughts of her that seemed to be from a lifetime ago, I could feel myself gravitating back.

I hated her for it, I told myself.

She didn't need to explain. All the explanation I needed was sketched out in front of me.  

"I... I can't."

...But I’d do it all again.

Come on, heart, let me in,
Days could be so bright and the weight could be lighter...

She wouldn't get out of my head no matter how much I told myself I didn't need her.

A part of me, one I despised but still a part of me nonetheless, knew I'd be happier with her. I knew I'd be happier if I hadn't walked into her home that day, if I hadn't found out she was cheating, if I had continued our relationship in sweet, sweet oblivion.

"I didn't think so."

...And we both know so don’t pretend,
Makes it all so hard when I see that we’re far
From the way we were, oh, the nights we danced,
The bands were playing...

All the countless dates gone to waste, the nights that were misspent, the lost money and the now-bittersweet alone time- everything we shared, gone to pieces.

"(Y/N)..."

...I say I’m over you, but I know that’s not true...

I wondered how I could begin to forgive her for squandering my loyalty to her like that.

I remember screaming. Slurring lots of unintelligible curses through my tears, choking on the reality of it all. This couldn't be happening, could it?

"It's over, Terezi. Don't call me."

...And if I found a way just to hit rewind,
Would it be enough to change your mind?
And this time I’d make you stay...

Here I sit on these days, loneliest of all the lonely days, wishing I could travel back to that day and stop myself from entering her home. Stop myself from ultimately breaking my own heart.

Because it was my fault, right?

God, she really made me hate myself.

...And I remember how we used to be,
And giving you up ain’t so easy,
But since you walked away...

The memories appeared everywhere. There was a story for every piece of furniture in my house, every utensil in my kitchen, every place we went together, every picture in a frame on my fireplace mantel of her and myself that I couldn't find the will to take down.

They appeared in my dreams. I would wake up pleasantly warm wrapped in blankets and memories, only to realize it wasn't real life, that Terezi wasn't an arm's reach away in those same blankets, and I'd turn stone cold again.

...I am falling, and I’m too weak to fly.
Now my heart’s wide open,
And you’re the reason why...

Terezi may have left me in pieces, but I knew I'd always come falling back into her grasp.

No matter how much I told myself I hated her, I knew I was lying to myself. No matter how much I knew I should forget those memories, I knew I would always wake up every morning missing her, and I would go to bed the same way.

I always knew I would forgive her.

...I’ve been broken for the scars that I forgave,
I’ve spent a long time running from the mess we’ve made...

Because no matter how hard I fought it, no matter how much I resisted my feelings and told myself I didn't need her or want her or care about her at all, I was still madly in love with Terezi Pyrope.

And I always would be.

...But I’d do it all again.