Only a fool for you.

John Egbert x Reader

Warnings: Very prank, quite swear

~

I opened my eyes and sat up, yawning. My room was still sort of dark, so I leaned over to my desk and turned my lamp on and oh my god what is that in my lamp-

I shrieked and jumped out of bed, immediately grabbing the closest thing to me, which happened to be a clothes hanger, and chucking it at the lamp. As far as I was concerned, there was a huge-ass cockroach inside my lamp shade and I was flipping the fuck out.

I continued to throw things at the lampshade from across my bed in an attempt to get the large bug to move, but I couldn't. I nearly knocked it over in the process, and still, the thing wouldn't budge.

I dared to circle slowly around my bed, grabbing a baseball bat on my shelf on the way, and stood a few feet away from the lamp. I extended the baseball bat over to the lampshade and flipped it over, letting it fall onto the floor as I instinctively shrieked and jumped back and, wait.

There, on the floor, lied the upturned lampshade with a black paper cutout of a cockroach taped inside. I groaned and tossed my baseball bat aside as I suddenly remembered what day it was:

April 1st.

Oh god, whoever did that was going to pay. I picked up my lampshade and removed the paper bug from inside, throwing it in the trash and putting the shade back where it belonged.

I rolled my eyes as I turned on my heel and headed for the door. Frustrated, I pushed my door open toward the wall and- Jesus, was that a fucking airhorn?

I covered my ears as the distinct noise of the novelty toy splintered through the room. Once I pulled the door away and the sound ceased, I peeked behind my door, and sure enough, there was an airhorn, elaborately duct taped to my wall. Great, I'd have an absolute field day peeling that off (along with the paint) later.

I sighed, beginning to wonder who in hell put this stuff in my house. There was only a few people that I'd ever given a key to; my three close friends, Kanaya, Dave, and Karkat.

I made my way to my kitchen, hoping to find something tasty for breakfast to improve my already-ruined mood. I pushed open yet another door and headed into my kitchen.

I stopped dead in my tracks when my foot knocked into a thing and I stepped in something wet. I looked down to find my entire kitchen floor, as far as I could see, covered in little tiny plastic cups filled with water.

I drew in a sharp breath before I could groan again. At this point, I was speculating who out of my three friends could've put all this shit here. I almost instantly ruled out Kanaya; she totally wasn't the pranking type. Out of Karkat and Dave, I leaned more toward the Strider boy having done it, but sometimes Vantas could be unpredictable.

I dropped the subject for the moment and, simply refusing to give a fuck, began knocking cups of water away with my feet as I waded through the mess over to my fridge.

I pulled open the refrigerator, causing even more cups to topple over. I'd have one hell of a time picking all these up.

The first thing that caught my eye in the fridge was the baking sheet of candy apples sitting there with a folded piece of paper on top. My mind immediately went to Karkat, since I knew he was actually really good at preparing food- but it seemed so unlike him to go out of his way to just make a dessert for a friend. I knitted my brows together and snatched up the paper, looking at the message written on the inside.

(Y/N),

       made these for you since i was feeling generous. was gonna give em to you last night but you seemed to already be asleep.

                       have a great april, bro,
                                      dave

Wow. Dave? That was a little unexpected. Then again, his writing did look a little rushed; I knew that boy took an odd sort of lowkey-pride in his exceptionally neat handwriting.

I didn't know if it was trustworthy after the three other instances this morning. After standing and thinking for a moment, I decided that it would be a shame if they weren't fakes and I were to waste them.

I grabbed the sheet and turned to set it on the counter, closing the fridge. I picked up one of the candy apples by the stick and held it up, inspecting it. I sniffed it, poked at it, even licked the outer coating- it seemed normal enough.

But, oh boy, as soon as I sunk my teeth into it, I knew I should've trashed the things before without a second thought.

I spit out the chunk of candy-coated onion onto the tray and rushed over to the trashcan (kicking even more cups out of the way), immediately dumping them all into it and tossing the tray onto the counter. I cringed continually at the taste of onion in my mouth, and reached down to pick up a still-standing cup of water before chugging it. Right then I felt like screaming- maybe I just needed a glass of soda or something to cool off (or further wash down the onion taste still on my tongue).

I opened a cupboard and grabbed a bottle of my favorite pop and a glass, pouring the sugary liquid into the cup before grabbing a tray of ice cubes from my freezer. I popped a few out of the container, but before I could drop one in, I noticed the hint of a faint pink inside the ice cube.

Oh, hell no, I thought, popping the whole tray of ice cubes and dumping them into the sink. I'd take care of the Mentos later once the ice melted, but I knew what I was doing now. That was a Strider move. I grabbed my glass of warm soda and stormed into my living room, sitting down at my desk and firing my laptop up.

When I tried to move my mouse, the damn thing wouldn't work. I looked at the underside and grumbled as I removed the piece of tape from the censor underneath it, discarding it onto the carpet randomly. Now that my mouse was okay again, I logged onto Pesterchum, and luckily, Dave was on. I clicked his handle and pestered him.

chumHandle [CH] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

CH: Dave, what the literal hell
CH: I get it, it's April Fools Day, but you've literally ruined my mood and it's not even 10am yet
CH: I know you're on, answer me you douche
CH: Dave
TG: what are you spouting about
CH: I know you planted all this pranky shit in my house
CH: It's literally not funny at all
TG: you say literally more than a typical white girl
CH: Don't dodge my accusations
TG: i have no idea what youre going off about, it was probably karkat or something
CH: What about the 'candy apples' you left in my fridge
CH: The note had your name on it
TG: what
TG: look bro i didnt leave any candy apples in your fridge
TG: i cant be arsed to make people shitty desserts for an even shittier holiday
TG: like i said it was probably karkat since hes all good with food and stuff
CH: How do I know you're not lying to me
TG: look ive probably had an equally bad if not worse morning than you with all these pranky happenings so you can drop that shit and go bother karkat because it fucking wasnt me
CH: ...
CH: Fine I choose to believe you
TG: about fucking time
CH: Sorry for bothering you Dave
TG: its whatever
TG: peace

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering chumHandle [CH]

I sighed and looked through my list of chums. Karkat wasn't on.

It was then I heard a slightly-contained chuckle from the other room. I stood up and grabbed my glass of soda, inching toward the door to the other room, ready to drench a bitch.

Anxiety was creeping up on me, for I didn't know who it was; Karkat was definitely a possibility, but I don't think I'd ever heard Karkat chuckle, let alone laugh at all.

Finally arriving at the door, I pushed it open and tossed my soda on the first moving thing I saw.

A gasp from both of us, and he turned around,
holding the airhorn that was previously taped to my wall.

None other than John fucking Egbert, the kid I'd had a crush on since literally forever.

Once his striking blue eyes met mine, I froze. He laughed nervously, scratching the back of his neck.

"Wow, (Y/N), looks like you got me," he said.

"J-John, what are you doing in my house?" I ignored his comment. He pushed his glasses up and looked away.

"Well, since you caught the prank master red-handed, I guess there's no point in lying. I got your key from Karkat and let myself in. I thought it'd be fun to mess with you, I guess..."

I was still confused. "But of all people, why me?" I was a little baffled he even acknowledged my existence at all.

The black-haired boy still refused to meet my gaze. I snapped my fingers a few times in front of his face. He looked up at me, those gorgeous blue orbs melding to mine again, and oh god I think I melted a little at the oh-so-innocent grin on his face.

"Look, (Y/N), I think, I maybe... Kinda, sorta like you a bit." He ran a hand through his soda-soaked hair. "Er, a lot."

"You do?"

"Yeah," he replied. "But now I'm realizing that pranking you maybe wasn't the best way to show it, I guess."

"I like you too, Egbert," I told him, still a little slow from the whole situation. "This isn't another part of your little scheme, is it?"

"No, no way." John tossed the airhorn onto the floor, stepping toward you a little with a puzzled expression. "I would never say that as a joke. That'd be so rude."

John Egbert actually liked me? Damn.

"Hey, by the way, close your eyes. There's one thing I forgot to do."

I did as he said and shut my eyes. I expected the airhorn in my ear or something being poured over my own head.

Instead, I felt a pleasant warm feeling against my lips, and it didn't take me very long to deduct what was happening; it was a mere half a second before I kissed him back, wrapping my arms around his neck as his hands found my waist. The sweet warmth soon left, and I was looking more comfortably into those bright blue eyes, smiling.

"By far the best April Fools Day ever," John observed, his buck teeth poking out as he smiled and pressed his forehead against mine.

"Happy April Fools Day, you big fool," I giggled, pecking his lips. "I love you."

"Only a fool for you, (Y/N)." John laughed a little. "I love you, too."